Way cool revelation of the day: Spanish got it TOTALLY right by having two ways of saying “to be”
First, let me assure you that this is NOT some grammatical post wherein I explain verb conjugations to you or spew my ramblings all over you about how awesome the Spanish language is. This post is to explain why when it comes to the verb “to be”, we could learn a thing or two from Spanish about how…to be.
So the abridged version of this is that in Spanish, there are two verbs that mean “to be”: one is ser, and the other is estar. When ser is used, there is more of a sense of either permanency or of characteristic; for example, one would use ser with words like “tall”, “yellow”, or “American”.
When using estar, the implication is that there is a condition around the description. So, for example, I would use estar with words like “tired”, “nervous”, or “here” (as in location, which can easily be changed).
Here’s the cool part, though: I can use the same descriptive word with ser OR with estar and it changes the context. So, for example, if I use estar with the adjective “disorganized”, it would mean that maybe today I’ve got a lot going on and I’m feeling disorganized, but if I use the word “disorganized” with ser, it means that characteristically I am a disorganized person.
It defines me.
Holy moly.
With just that subtle lexical alteration I have totally changed the context of the entire sentence, and have gone from describing a current condition (what is) to describing WHO I am.
They make the distinction in Spanish, whereas we do not in English. “I am” is “I am” is “I am”.
The thing is, I’m not disorganized. Not characteristically, anyway.
Sometimes I don’t remember what I did with something, and then I remember where I put it, and lo and behold - there it is. Also, usually when I see that I’m starting to misplace things over and over, I know that there is something else going on - maybe I’m under some stress, or feeling anxious about something - and I go after that. I don’t suddenly take on the characteristic of being a disorganized person and allow it to define me.
When it comes to really important stuff - and, more specifically, stuff around which I’ve made a commitment to someone else - I have my act totally together. When a few of my colleagues and I take students abroad every summer, I’m in charge of the paperwork. In that vein, I am totally and 100% organized.
Because I get the importance of having that stuff together. Because when I make a commitment, I take it seriously.
Does my junk mail sometimes pile up on the counter? Yep.
The point here is that we must be so careful when we talk about WHO we are vs. what behavior we might be displaying at any one moment. If I learn something new and it confounds me, I wouldn’t say, “I’m so bad at learning new things.” I would say, “This concept is so new to me that my learning curve for this one is just a little wider than normal. I’ll get it.”
If I blank on someone’s name, I wouldn’t say, “I’m terrible with names.” I’m actually really great with names! Sometimes I get distracted while someone is telling me his or her name and I need to ask for it again.
It’s all about our self-image. What we see when we look into and at ourselves. The thoughts we think, the words we use, the context we provide, the reflection we create. We set the tone for our lives, and NOT the other way around.
And sometimes, it really is just as simple as swapping one verb for another.