Presently this question is multi-layered for me.

I ask myself this question just about every day.

I’m currently spending my mornings at a summer camp, mentoring inner-city children from 3rd grade through 9th grade and teaching them life skills.

Well…attempting to, anyway.

Some of the kids are really, really good. “Good” meaning here that they are not set on verbally or physically attacking anyone else, and they have a genuine interest in reaping some kind of positive experience from being at camp. I do my best to be with those children…and it is difficult to hear the sound of their willingness over the din of the others’ resistance.

It is, without a single doubt, the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I cry almost every day, and the reasons for my tears alternate between sheer frustration at having to spend the majority of my time there getting most of them to stop screaming...

I’m sure you’ve stopped at a traffic light before, either as a passenger or as a driver.

We all know green means “go” and red means “stop”. As a society (and maybe even as a world) we have even carried these colors over into other areas of our lives, designating times when people should “go” with green, and times when people should stop doing something with red. I would even go so far as to say that the color red is pretty universally known as the color for “no”.

The color yellow is a bit more nebulous, however, especially in terms of traffic lights. Historically, the point of a yellow traffic light is to warn people that a red light is coming, and the design of the whole system is that when you see a yellow light, you slow down. As society has evolved, however, and more and more cars have come to populate the roads, the yellow traffic light has become less about slowing down in...

First of all, I love lists. I could make a list about how much I love lists - that’s how much I love making lists! There is something gratifying about writing everything down and looking at it in my handwriting. Or, for some people, it feels good to write things down, and transfer them endlessly onto other lists. And that, of course, is funny because it’s true.

Even when I’m teaching or mentoring, I often defer to list-making because it helps sort out thoughts and priorities. There is really no better way of seeing “everything” than seeing it in some kind of sequential order and then reorganizing it or leaving it as it is.

There is one list that I am cautious about making, though. And that is the immensely popular - and often misused - To Do List. People absolutely LOVE this list! This list usually gets written at night before bed, or first thing in the morning. It has anywhere...

First, let me assure you that this is NOT some grammatical post wherein I explain verb conjugations to you or spew my ramblings all over you about how awesome the Spanish language is. This post is to explain why when it comes to the verb “to be”, we could learn a thing or two from Spanish about how…to be.

So the abridged version of this is that in Spanish, there are two verbs that mean “to be”: one is ser, and the other is estar. When ser is used, there is more of a sense of either permanency or of characteristic; for example, one would use ser with words like “tall”, “yellow”, or “American”.

When using estar, the implication is that there is a condition around the description. So, for example, I would use estar with words like “tired”, “nervous”, or “here” (as in location, which can easily be changed).

Here’s the cool part, though: I can use the same descriptive word with ser OR...

Back in my obsessive TV-watching days, I happened upon an episode of Hoarders. It was the first and last episode I ever watched.

This particular episode focused on a woman who lived alone and had accumulated so much stuff that she had to climb over it to get from one part of the house to another. It was upsetting and disturbing and I felt compassion for her instantly.

At one point in the episode, she, her mother, and her son met with a therapist. The therapist asked the woman why she thought she had created this life for herself, and her response was that because her mother ignored her stepfather’s abuse of [the woman] when she was a child, she developed a deep-seated lack of self-worth, and believed that the way she was living was all she deserved. Her “stuff” gave her life meaning and worth in a way.

The therapist then asked the woman to talk directly with her mother and to tell...

One time I did something really crazy: I read a news article about coffee.

Well, let me say first that I generally avoid the news, and I really love coffee. I have exactly two cups a day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon (in case you were wondering). And in case you ever feel like buying me one, I take it with half and half only, no sugar. Anyway, I enjoy drinking coffee, and over the years I have read three or four articles in various publications that said that coffee is good for your health, and it has antioxidants! (Which is kind of the Word of the Moment, but it just means a substance that prevents cell damage caused by free radicals; let’s leave it at that.) So I got all excited because I knew antioxidants were good, so coffee was good, and I was happy about that.

Then I read another article. This one stated why you “should” (ick) never, ever drink coffee. WHAT?!

...

If I were to ask you to make a list of three things that you know are true, you might say things like the following:

“The sky is blue.”

“Today is Thursday.”

“The sun is hot.”

And you would be right [phew!].

Now, there are some things that are obviously and definitely not true. For example, today is Friday is not true. Or, “The sun is cold” is also not true.

There are also things that are really not true…not yet, at least.

These are the things we assume/make up/imagine about our present – and about our future.

I know you’ve done this because everyone has at some point. For instance, let’s say a group of colleagues has a fantastic boss that they adore. Then they find out that they will be getting a new boss in six months, with no other information. What happens is that they are now left with time and space to begin making up all sorts of interesting things about what will happen...

I won’t make you wait too long for it, but I do want to make two statements before I just divulge what it is:

1. This will most likely be hugely uncomfortable at first;
2. everyone around you will probably think you’ve gone nuts.

Good! Glad we got that out of the way.

Are you ready for the action? It’s so small I almost don’t believe how long it’s taking me to tell you what it is!

The action is…

…to smile!

I don’t mean smile when something is funny, or when you hear something nice about yourself. Or when someone is taking your picture. That’s too easy.

I mean smile way, way more than you’re probably smiling now.

Smiles can be heard, so smile when you answer the phone. Smile when you make eye contact with someone (and if they don’t smile at you in return, that’s OK). Smile when you wake up in the morning and realize you’ve been given the gift of another day. Smile when you...

Do you remember when you were in school and one of your classmates presented something in front of the class, when he or she was finished, everyone clapped?

Well, they still do that. I know it’s for moral support, and I find it really cute and sweet that they still do that for each other.

Here’s something I’ve noticed, though: the second they think the presentation is over, this kind of mechanical, half-hearted clapping starts, as if someone is holding up a flashing “APPLAUSE” sign behind the presenter’s head to elicit the perfunctory noise of hands smacking together to either acknowledge a job well done, or to celebrate the fact that it’s “finally over”.

So one time I confronted them on it. Here is what I said (more or less):

“Look, I’m glad you guys clap for each other. I think that’s important. You want to be supportive, and…when you do that half-hearted clappy thing that you’re...