3 ways to totally get a grip on your happiness
One time I did something really crazy: I read a news article about coffee.
Well, let me say first that I generally avoid the news, and I really love coffee. I have exactly two cups a day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon (in case you were wondering). And in case you ever feel like buying me one, I take it with half and half only, no sugar. Anyway, I enjoy drinking coffee, and over the years I have read three or four articles in various publications that said that coffee is good for your health, and it has antioxidants! (Which is kind of the Word of the Moment, but it just means a substance that prevents cell damage caused by free radicals; let’s leave it at that.) So I got all excited because I knew antioxidants were good, so coffee was good, and I was happy about that.
Then I read another article. This one stated why you “should” (ick) never, ever drink coffee. WHAT?!
Apparently, coffee is one of the biggest culprits for raising blood pressure.
So, you know, DON’T DRINK IT.
Or drink it.
Wait…don’t drink it.
(head explodes)
So…let’s get a grip, shall we?
Here are three of the best ways I can share for you to get a good, strong one on your own happiness:
Stay away from the news. I mean it, stay away. I realize that there are people who will absolutely balk at the fact that I don’t know what’s happening in the world every single day, and because I’m not plastered to a news outlet and learning about every awful thing going on, the name-calling may begin and I become “ignorant” or “clueless”. That’s cool. I’m OK with that. See, because for me, reading the news makes me anxious. The fact is that most news is bad. I do not enjoy reading or hearing about tragedies and terrible things going on in the world, and so I don’t. And you know what? I feel happier not carrying the burden of a million things that are out of my control. Then I get to bring that happiness into my home and into my marriage, which totally deserves a happy me!
Find a group of people who share your desire for happiness and then focus on creating deep relationships with them. I’m not going to lie to you: this is tricky. This may involve you taking a good, long look at the people you are allowing in your life and in your space. You may need to make some adjustments to your list of peeps. I’m not advocating that you go through your phone right now and start deleting contacts; I’m simply suggesting that you be aware of the influence of the people with whom you surround yourself. They have an impact on your happiness, whether you believe they do or not. There is no way, logically, that I can be really, truly happy if I’ve got people in my life who are constantly negative. Likewise, if I’ve got a pebble in my shoe, I can twist and shake and stomp my foot all I want, but unless I take the shoe off and shake the pebble out, it’s going to stay in there. When you find a way to surround yourself with like-minded folks, you instantly see things lining up differently for you. Life looks and feels clearer and brighter. And I don’t know about you, but I’ll take clear and bright over dark and dreary any day.
Believe you deserve happiness. This is pretty straightforward. If you don’t believe you deserve to be happy, you won’t be. First, reconcile with the fact that miserable people are miserable by choice. Happy people are happy by choice. They decide to be that way, and eventually that conscious decision becomes a subconscious way of being. If you want it to be more complicated than that, then go ahead and make it more complicated. It’s not, though.
Alright, I’m going to go make myself a cup of coffee. And then I am going to meet my lifelong friend for dinner and spend time giggling and chatting and just being friends. Because I want that in my life, and because those things bring me happiness.
And I deserve that.