“I’ll have one incorrect nose piercing, please.”

When I was a very wise (wink wink) nineteen year-old, I agreed to get my nose pierced on a dare. My friends and I were on South Street, and back then I wanted people to like me so bad that if my friends dared me to do something, I instantly accepted the dare so that people could fawn all over me and my “courage”. I still cringe when I think about some of the things I did.

The person who pierced my nose on that dare used a piercing gun, which, I found out later, is not the correct tool to use to pierce a nostril. The piercing began to sink, and within a week I had to take it out of my nose. After realizing I actually loved how it looked, about a month later I went home and got “the real deal”, with the correct tool (hollow needle). I wore that nose ring very proudly for a little under a year before I had to remove it for student teaching. Darn.

Up until about five years ago, when I thought about that story I would always get frustrated with myself, thinking, “How could I have been so stupid to do that so impulsively?” Now, after years of training and tool-gathering (and head-exploding amounts of soul searching), I can finally see that story much differently.

On one level I get it for how important it was for me to learn about using the correct tools. For example, my life toolbox is pretty full, however if I take out just any random tool, it may not be the best or most appropriate one for the situation. So saying “I have tons of tools” is only good enough if I’m actually using them, and being deliberate and purposeful with the ones I’m choosing.

On another level, I see how important that part of my life was, to experience doing things because I wanted to be liked, to fit in, and to have people “approve” of me. Back then I thought I needed others to say, “She’s so cool!” or give me some other kind of compliment or validation in order to feel complete. I’m not sorry about that; I’m hugely thankful for it. I have an understanding now of how to relate to young people that are drowning in their own sea of unworthiness. And since I am positive that my life purpose is to empower youth, that’s a pretty handy tool to have.

I’ll never look at nose rings the same way again.

I hope you won’t, either.